Wedding Etiquette: Who Pays for What?
A big piece of the wedding planning puzzle is the budget. Your budget will cover anything related to your big day — from an engagement party to the multiple vendors at your wedding reception. It's helpful to list every aspect when discussing your budget, including all potential events, vendors, decorations and other wedding items. The individuals you discuss your budget with are the ones contributing to your special day, but who exactly does that responsibility fall to?
Ultimately, there are no official rules for who's in charge of the wedding finances. The bride's parents paying for the wedding is a long-known tradition, but it's a trend modern couples are beginning to stray away from. With couples saving money for their special day or both families splitting the financial obligations, you can stretch the guidelines for who pays for what in a wedding.
If you're unsure of how to split wedding payments or want a general outline to follow for your budget, learn more about traditional wedding etiquette.
Who Pays for What in a Wedding?
Our guide will explain whose parents pay for what according to conventional wedding etiquette and what aspects you and your partner should save for.
Traditional vs. Modern
Weddings have changed immensely over the last decade. From the growth of social media platforms and the legalization of same-sex marriage, the wedding industry has seen a huge shift in how people celebrate their special day. Couples can allow their personalities to shine through and genuinely enjoy the wedding planning process.
Some of the main reasons couples may make the shift from traditional to modern weddings include:
Social media: Platforms like Pinterest and Instagram are prominent tools for brides and grooms seeking wedding inspiration. Couples include traditional wedding ideas and put their own spin on aspects of their wedding.
Changing expectations: People are beginning to have different expectations when it comes to weddings. Couples' personalities become the priority on their big day, and people welcome unique decor, events and other aspects.
Vendor market: The wedding industry is abundant with vendors. From traditional catering companies and DJs to unique lighting specialists and marquee letter rentals, couples have numerous options to customize their special day.
Traditional weddings incorporate the white dress, common order of events and the bride's family handling the majority of wedding expenses. You'll notice more couples including a modern twist on their wedding day, like unique food options, colorful wedding attire or the couple paying for the wedding themselves.
The Bride's Family
The bride's family is traditionally responsible for most of the wedding's financial responsibilities. As the “hosts” of the wedding day, parents often pay for the wedding cake, stationery, the wedding venue and other common additions. Even if they share some of the responsibilities with the partner's family, they're typically a big part of the equation. These aspects include:
The engagement party.
A wedding coordinator or planner.
The wedding dress and attire.
The photographer and videographer.
Wedding invitations and stationery.
Flowers and decorations.
Accommodations for bridesmaids.
The ceremony and reception venue.
The wedding cake.
Day-of transportation.
A DJ or live band.
Catering.
Wedding favors.
Tents and other rentals.
The Groom's Family
The largest expense the groom's family is traditionally responsible for is the rehearsal dinner venue and catering. Some other common areas the groom's parents may pay for include:
Alcohol for the reception.
Accommodations for groomsmen.
Boutonnieres and corsages.
The wedding officiant.
The marriage license.
While it's not customary for the groom's parents to take on more financial responsibility, they can contribute to any aspect they offer to cover. The groom's parents may pay for the honeymoon for the wedding couple if they desire.
The Bride
The bride typically pays for her partner's wedding band and gifts for the bridal party. The bride may contribute to the wedding costs her parents are responsible for, like the wedding planner, flowers, decorations or party rentals. Areas the bride may cover include:
Bridal hair and makeup.
Bridal party hair and makeup.
Bridesmaid gifts.
Her partner's wedding band.
Day-of gift for her partner.
Gifts for her parents and future in-laws.
The Groom
The most important items the groom pays for in a wedding are his partner's engagement ring and wedding band. He may share some of the financial responsibilities with his parents, but the other main items he pays for include:
Purchasing or renting wedding attire.
Gifts for the groomsmen.
The honeymoon.
Other Expenses
The majority of expenses are covered by the bride's family, the groom's family, the bride and the groom. Wedding's have multiple moving parts, so you'll still have a few events and items on your list for someone to pay for. Other parties who may hold some financial responsibility for your wedding include:
The wedding party: All of the wedding party members will have some expenses to cover as a part of your special day. This can include their attire, accessories, bridesmaid hair and makeup, the bachelor and bachelorette parties, the bridal shower, gifts for the couple and travel arrangements.
The flower girl and ring bearers' parents: If you add a flower girl or ring bearer to your wedding party, their parents are responsible for buying their outfits. The couple is responsible for purchasing the flower girl's accessories and flowers and the ring bearer's pillow or ring box.
Creating Your Wedding Budget
Setting your wedding budget is the first step in the wedding planning process. When outlining your expenses, include all parties contributing to your wedding to keep everyone on the same page and understand expectations from everyone paying for the wedding.
The cost of every wedding aspect depends on you and your partner's vision for your special day and the budget you and your family set. When creating your budget list, remember to include all of the previously listed expenses and keep a note of who's responsible for paying and when the item has been paid for.
The best advice couples and their families can follow is to set a realistic budget for the big day. While you want to create the most memorable day of your life, you also want to be mindful of your guest count and location. These factors impact the wedding's overall price. Look for creative tips and resources to make your wedding celebration beautiful while staying within your budget.
Download Our Complete Wedding Planning Guide
Planning your wedding can be a wonderful experience when you have all of the information you need to prepare for your special day. When you host your wedding at Baywood Weddings, you'll gain our wedding expertise and help throughout your entire planning process. Check out our complete wedding planning guide to create your budget and organize every aspect of your wedding day.
