How to Plan Your Reception and the Common Order of Events
You've both said "yes," and now the big day is becoming more real than ever. After years of imagining what it would be like, it's finally time to plan your wedding reception. From preparing the guest list to choosing the right menu, curating the celebration of your love can start to feel overwhelming. But your wedding day can be everything you envisioned it to be, and more!
Here’s the common order of events. If you’re interested in learning more, keep reading!
| Activity | What you need to know |
|---|---|
| 1. Cocktail Hour | A filler for the transition period between the ceremony and the reception, allowing the wedding party to take pictures and fulfill their duties while guests mingle and eat hors d'oeuvres. Usually lasts for an hour to ninety minutes. |
| 2. Arrivals | The grand entrance of the newlyweds into the reception, often followed by the traditional first dance. This moment lasts for a few minutes. |
| 3. Dinner | The newlyweds and guests enjoy their meal together. The couple makes their rounds to each table after eating. Dinner usually lasts about an hour. |
| 4. Toasts | Wedding toasts are given by the best man, maid of honor, and sometimes other close friends or family members. The speeches usually end with a word of thanks from the groom, but the bride can do it too. |
| 5. First Dance and Family Dances | The first dance between the newlyweds is followed by the father-daughter dance and the mother-son dance. These dances help set the mood for the rest of the night. |
| 6. Dancing | A time for the newlyweds and guests to let loose and celebrate. The DJ, band, or wedding party should encourage everyone to get up and dance. |
| 7. Bouquet and Garter Tosses | Ancient symbolic acts of passing along good fortune in life and love to the lucky catchers. The couple may choose to toss the groom's boutonniere or give each single lady a flower from the bouquet as alternative options. |
| 8. Cutting the Cake | Usually occurs during the last hour of the reception, providing guests with a sugar rush before returning to the dance floor. Also signals that the party is winding down, and it's okay for guests to leave soon if they're ready. |
| 9. The Goodbye | The grand exit for the newlyweds, which can be as big or small as desired. Couples often use sparklers, flower petals, and bubbles for a memorable send-off and great photo opportunities. |
How to Plan a Wedding Reception?
Every wedding reception is unique to the couple, though most weddings follow a similar string of events. From large wedding receptions to intimate gatherings, this guide will show you how to plan your perfect wedding reception from the cocktail hour to the last dance.
Step 1: Determine Your Reception Budget
Step 2: Plan the Reception Activities and Order of Events
Step 3: Decide on Seating Arrangement
Step 4: Set Your Menu
Step 5: Choose Your Music
Step 6: Find the Perfect Location
Determining Your Reception Budget
Organization and a realistic budget are the foundation of a successful wedding and help make the entire process easier. Setting a budget is the most important step of planning a wedding reception. It allows you and your partner to communicate what you both want for the big day, as well as identify the areas where you can compromise.
Before you take any steps towards shopping for your attire or scheduling cake tastings, you need to set a budget for each expense that is a part of your reception:
1. Reception Venues
Finding the perfect venue can be a challenge — especially if you and your future spouse don't share the same vision. Depending on the state you live in, a wedding can cost anywhere between $20,000 and $30,000. The expenses will vary based on a number of factors. For example, a wedding reception for over 300 guests will certainly cost more than an event of half that size.
Before you start shopping for places for a wedding and a reception, answer the following questions with your partner:
Do you want an indoor or outdoor wedding and reception?
Do you want a big wedding reception or a small one?
What elements are nonnegotiable?
If you find a venue that also takes care of the catering, be ready to allocate approximately 40% of your budget towards the location.
2. Band or DJ
The entertainment at your wedding reception will set the tone for the rest of the night. A DJ or band doesn't just play music, they act as the master of ceremonies of the event and keep your guests dancing all night. There is no one-size-fits-all solution when it comes to choosing and budgeting for a band. A general rule of thumb is to assign 10% of your budget to your reception entertainment.
3. Catering
Choosing a menu that pleases everyone doesn't have to be difficult. Many reception venues offer catering services, so you don't have to communicate with additional vendors or worry about the food being available on time. The food is one expense that will vary according to the number of guests you invite. Depending on your venue, guest list and personal preferences, the budget for food can range from $40-$150 a head. Remember that the catering budget includes food, alcoholic beverages, dessert and hors d'oeuvres.
4. Wedding Cake
One of the most memorable moments of any wedding is cutting the cake with your new spouse. On average, a wedding cake will account for 2% of your budget. If you're not a fan of the large statement centerpiece cake, you can go modern with cupcakes or a dessert table.
5. Transportation
This is another factor that can vary widely based on your vision for your reception. Transportation for just the bridal party and family should come to 3% of your wedding reception budget. If you are providing transportation for other guests from a hotel you reserved or the ceremony venue, then it will cost a little bit more.
6. Favors
Guests travel from all over the state and country to be there for the big day, so offering a token of your appreciation in the form of a wedding favor is standard wedding etiquette. If you're wondering how much you should spend on your parting gifts, the answer is approximately $2 to $3.
From choosing the wedding and reception venues to booking your favorite local band, finding the balance in your wedding budget can be a head scratcher at times. For a full wedding breakdown, this inclusive guide gives you a deeper explanation of how to budget your wedding, so you can have the picture-perfect day you've dreamed of.
Typical Reception Activities and Order of Events
What is the order of events at a wedding reception?
Which comes first, the parent dances or the toasts? If you're uncertain about the order of events at a wedding or which activities you want to include, no worries! This step-by-step guide has you covered. Every couple has their own preferences, but an organized schedule for the reception will help things run smoothly.
1. Cocktail Hour
While you and your love are off taking pictures or having a private moment before the reception, your guests can be enjoying the cocktail hour. The cocktail hour is a filler for the transition period between the ceremony and the reception. It allows the wedding party to take pictures and fulfill their duties while filling time for the other guests.
Your friends and relatives will slowly make their way into the cocktail and wedding reception locations to mingle and eat hors d'oeuvres as they gear up for a night of fun. A cocktail hour can last for an hour to ninety minutes.
2. Arrivals
Your wedding reception will be your first real introduction to your loved ones as a married couple. A popular internet trend in the last 10 years has been videos of over-the-top bridal party entrances — complete with dancing and props! Even if you aren't a fan of being in the spotlight, take this moment to bask in the joy of marital bliss.
Your arrival is your grand entrance into the reception, so don't be afraid to soak up every second of it. It only lasts for a few minutes, and may be followed by the traditional first dance. But if you prefer to save the first dance until after dinner, that's okay too.
3. Dinner
After all the planning and excitement surrounding the big day, you and your love can finally sit down and enjoy your first meal together. The timestamp for when guests first enter the main venue space to sitting down to eat should only be about half an hour, if you've decided to have your first dance after dinner.
The band or DJ should softly play music during dinner, as the servers carry in the food or the MC directs traffic to the buffet table. As the newlyweds, you will make your rounds to each table after you've finished eating. This allows you to talk with every person you've invited before the dance floor sweeps you away. Overall, dinner will last about an hour.
4. Toasts
Get your tissues ready, because you may need them! Wedding toasts are given by the best man and maid of honor. It's a time for the closest friends and family of the couple to share their heartfelt congratulations and best wishes as the newlyweds start this next chapter in their lives. You can ask other members of your families or wedding party to contribute a speech as well. The speeches usually end with a word of thanks from the groom, but the bride can do it too. It all depends on what you envision for your wedding day.
5. First Dance and Family Dances
After dinner, you and your new spouse will be called onto the dance floor to share your first dance. This sweet moment is typically followed by the father and daughter dance, and then the mother and son dance. Keep in mind that not every family situation is the same, so don't feel pressured to stick to tradition if it doesn't work for you and your partner.
The first dance and family dances are a warm up for the rest of the night. They get everyone in a dancing mood, so guests feel comfortable making their way onto the dance floor when it's time.
6. Dancing
This is your time to let loose and celebrate the events of the day. You're finally married to the love of your life, and there's nothing like dancing with your loved ones to commemorate the event. This is when having a great MC or band comes into play. It's your DJ and wedding party's job to get everyone up and moving on the dance floor.
Not many people like being at the center of attention as the first one dancing. Your guests won't get up to party if you and your wedding party don't lead the way! The newly married couple and their closest friends should be the first ones on the dance floor.
7. Bouquet and Garter Tosses
The bouquet and garter tosses are two traditions that have stood the test of time. These ancient symbolic acts stand for passing along good fortune in life and love to the people who are lucky enough to catch the flowers or garter. The origins of these traditions no longer apply to today's modern world, and may not seem necessary to you. So, if you're looking for another option, try tossing the groom's boutonniere or giving each single lady a flower from the bouquet.
8. Cutting the Cake
The cake cutting is usually saved until the last hour of the reception. Your guests will probably be hungry after all that dancing and will need a sugar rush before getting back on the floor. It's also a natural sign that the party is winding down, and it's okay for guests to leave soon if they're ready. While you may be eager to dive into your wedding cake, don't cut it too early or the dancing might wrap up earlier than you planned.
9. The Goodbye
After a day packed with emotion and non-stop commotion, you're likely eager to make your way to the honeymoon suite and reminisce with your new spouse. But first comes the grand exit. Your finale can be as big or small as you want. Many couples use sparklers, flower petals and bubbles for the send off. All of these options make for great photo ops.
Seating Arrangement Tips and Etiquette
Going through the seating arrangements can feel daunting when planning a wedding. You've already spent hours going over the RSVPs, and now it's time to decide whether or not you'll have assigned seating. These tips can help you find the right seating method for you, so all your guests are happy and comfortable while you enjoy your wedding day.
1. Decide Whether You Want Assigned Seating
Many couples choose not to have assigned seats because is saves them hours of planning. Why not let your guests decide who they want to sit with?
One thing to consider, however, is you'll be hosting friends from entirely different social groups — current and previous jobs, high school, college and more. The odd men out may feel awkward approaching an open seat when everybody else at the table knows each other. If your wedding is a formal affair with a plated dinner, it's best to use a seating chart. If your wedding is small or on the casual side, open seating can contribute to the laid-back atmosphere.
2. Consider the Floor Plan
All wedding reception locations are different, so the floor plans will vary from place to place. The venue manager or your wedding planner will know the best way to set up your tables according to where the food will be placed while still allowing plenty of room for mobility.
3. Decide on Table Shape and Size
Circles, rectangles, family-style or a mixture — which one is right for you? Circular tables are the most popular option for wedding receptions because they allow the conversation to easily flow from person to person. However, rectangular tables are easier to arrange around the room and create clear pathways to and from the exit, restrooms and buffet tables.
Decide how many guests you want at each table before deciding on the table size. The more guests you can fit at a table, the fewer tables there will be. For smaller weddings, a singular family-style table will pair well with your intimate event.
4. Keep Your Friends Close
The wedding party's table should be the closest to the married couple's table. Or you can mix things up with a long table that faces the rest of the reception, with the wedding party joining you for dinner.
5. Find a Spot for Your Parents and Family
Everyone wants a happy, close family to share their wedding day with, but this isn't the case for many couples. With divorced parents or siblings who don't get along, family seating charts can be tricky.
The family seating should be aligned with the wedding party table, if not spaced just a little bit further out. The parents of the couple should be sat together, with the grandparents. The siblings should all share a table as well, and then extended family seated together.
6. Consider a Kids' Table
Where should the kids go? If you have invited guests with children, a kids' table is a great solution for allowing the kids to be involved and entertained. You can give them engaging activities, like coloring and crafts so they are occupied while the adults enjoy their dinner and conversation. However, if you only have a flower girl and ring bearer as your child guests, it's best to sit them with their parents.
Setting Your Menu
Many couples who are planning their weddings are faced with the struggle of meeting unexpected dietary restrictions. A good rule of thumb to follow is to include two meat options and a vegetarian or pasta meal. However, there is still much more to consider when planning your wedding dinner.
Reception Timeline
In the order of events, you have the cocktail hour paired with hors d'oeuvres, dinner and dessert. Remember that your reception isn't about the food — it's about celebrating your marriage! So even though you'll be presented with a myriad of options for every course, stick to items that everyone will love.
Keep the appetizers light, so your guests won't be too full to eat dinner. Offer tasty and filling options for dinner, and keep the dessert table on the smaller side.
Consider Your Guests' Preferences and Restrictions
Many people are adopting new dietary lifestyles, for health and personal reasons. While you can't guarantee a meal that caters to everyone's preferences, definitely take their opinions into consideration. If you are planning to have foods that are associated with common allergies, let your guests know ahead of time.
Caterers and wedding reception sites will provide a selection of foods for you to choose from early on in the wedding planning stages. You'll have plenty of time to sit down with your fiancée and plan a meal that will be delicious and personalized. With courses like these, you'll love every bite of your wedding day dinner.
Live Music vs. a DJ
When you hire a live band or DJ, you are basically asking them to create the perfect playlist for the happiest day of your life. It may sound like a tall order, but choosing the right music for your wedding reception is easy and fun.
An average wedding reception lasts for about five hours. That means your band or DJ will have to act as the main entertainment and keep your guests moving on the dance floor the entire time. Both live bands and DJs have their benefits, and the determining factors usually come down to personal taste and budget. A band will cost more simply because there are multiple band members. Either way, take your time choosing the right musicians to play at your reception.
Choosing the Right Music
There are a few songs that are staples for every major event, and you can surely name a few off the top of your head right now. When adding to your wedding playlist, remember to check the lyrics so you don't include any songs with offensive language. Keep in mind that the music sets the mood, so you should have a list of songs to complement each stage of the reception.
Finding the Perfect Location
When you dream about your wedding day, two things stand out above all else — the love of your life standing next to you, and the most perfect setting. Finding that dream rental location for your wedding reception and ceremony is possible at Baywood Weddings. If you see yourself standing hand in hand with your fiancé in a luscious garden or elegant veranda, our picturesque outdoor reception venues offer the most romantic backdrops. A reception under the stars or in one of our tents will leave your guests speechless and entranced.
Our indoor reception venues are as equally charming. For large wedding receptions, our ballroom features two balconies that overlook the gardens for an unparalleled reception backdrop. If you and your fiancé prefer an intimate celebration with your loved ones, our library is a sophisticated and unique space.
Baywood Weddings is a premier wedding and reception venue for your most unforgettable day. With our diligent and award-winning staff and menu, your day will be as magical as you've always dreamed it would be. Contact us today to start planning your wedding day.